Massive Updates!

Good extremely early morning!!!

It’s JULY already!

Almost one full year in business. Almost one full year of service. I’m in such a happy place thinking about it.

As usual, I’ve got a list of updates. I apologize for the ghost act on the blog, but it’s been all for the best reasons.

Let’s tick down the list, shall We?

1. We shifted bases.

While we got a wonderful start in Dougherty County, we are no longer based in Albany. We now make our home in Gwinnett County, just a rabbit shake from Buford Highway. I am still in Albany periodically, and still accept clients by advance appointment only, but my client base is bigger up north.

2. Bell’s Customs items are still available regardless of where we are based.

We ship! You’ll miss out on the free cupcake or dessert jar (always kept those on hand for clients picking up their items) BUT you can still inbox or email your requests and they’ll be shipped in 72 hours or less.

3. When I’m in town, there will still be desserts.

Yes, I will still bring you platters and trays of sweets and goodies when I am in town.

4. At least 4 times a year, I will still do a pop-up shop.

I only held one pop-up in 2017 but it was loads of fun! I look forward to doing more in 2019, and as always there will be the demos, treats, raffles, and community givebacks you know accompany any event thrown by Lillie Beauty.

Leaving Albany wasn’t a personal decision. I adjusted pretty well and meet since really nice people. I got the opportunity to do a lot of good while i was there too. Alas, I needed more space and my biggest client base is not here. Any wise business owner identifies their strengths, analyzes their profit margins, goes where they have a better client base. Since I make my (permanent) home in Gwinnett County, and am more known here, naturally it made more sense to make my business here as well.

A four-hour commute is not fun.

Even so, I’ll always have a soft spot for Albany, especially Dougherty County. That’s why still see me. I’ll still be available (just obviously not as much) for my clients there.

There’s a great deal of good in this particular goodbye.

Oooh, before I forget… I didn’t yet find a social media person. As such, I’m still behind on updating the IG page. *face palm* That’s likely another hat I’ll have to wear, because I cannot handle having an employee I have to chase. The work ethic should be there, otherwise why get a job?

At any rate, as soon as I have the woman’nequin team dressed and draped, I’ll resume posting. Their outfits and accessories are all original–not exactly a product line yet but I do call it LillieWear. *smile* The collection is all made by yours truly and is classy, stylish…and modest. I’m into fashion, but not so much into spandex and cut-outs. LillieWear is fun, but still leaves something to the imagination. It isn’t frumpy at all, but it also isn’t barely-there.

It’s all coming together… But not in a hurry. Can’t rush perfection or even anything nearby.

Aloha!

♡TAK

Mommy, I Want Hair Like Yours.

Ugh.

Hair is a pretty big part of life in our house. When you live with a hairstylist, it happens. My tribe is always my first line of practice, so they’ve all survived a crazy variety of hair treatments, styles, and trends. Only the boys have ever had anyone in their tresses besides me. I’m proud to say there isn’t a single head of damaged hair, split ends, or stunted growth in the house.

There are different lengths, textures, and colors though–from my extremely fickle but very long hair to Babaloo’s wavy-curly locks to the kids’ various shades and suits of hair-ical awesomeness. I have my hands full on any given day just keeping everyone looking well-kept, and I love it.

As much as we don’t define ourselves by what grows from our scalps, we are still very involved with it all. Hair is as much a part of our day to day as breathing, and we don’t mind.

My 11-year-old is the reason I currently have braids.

See, I’ve done a lot to my hair in 34 years. Relaxers, color treatments, and a whole bevy of experimental styles–some good, some cringeworthy, some still in rotation today because they’re fierce. (Hello, rope twists!) I’ve never shied away from a look, because while hair is a big deal to me, it’s also a deal that I understand the non-permanence of, because it could be here today and quite literally gone tomorrow.

My daughter has a wonderful, kinky grade of hair. It’s thick and wiry and affords her the opportunity to wear also any style she can Google or conjure up. Her hair is strong. It’s beautiful.

…but one day we were getting dressed to go somewhere and she tugged at her afro puffs. (Her puffs are glorious.) Then she looked at me running the flat iron through my hair.

“Mommy, I want hair like yours.”

I kinda froze. Hair like mine?

Hair is a lot of things, but it isn’t a defining factor. It isn’t a political statement. It isn’t anything but a means of expression–braided or twisted, curly or straight, it’s special because it’s our only living accessory. It’s special because it’s not special at all.

I didn’t want her to think her kinky twirly poofs were somehow not as cool as my straight tresses. I’ve always taught her to love her hair, if for no other reason than it’s hers!

So we talked.

“What do you like about my hair, that makes you want to wear yours similar?”

“I like it because I want to be like you.”

Again, our hair isn’t a statement. We don’t read that much into it.

But at that moment I did read something into it–another way to connect with my mini-me and ensure she had plenty of pride about herself. I wanted her to look in the mirror and know she was fierce.

“Well sweet pea, I wouldn’t mind having hair like yours!”

…and now I do.

I won’t say I’ll never press my hair again. Or henna it to change the color. Or chop it off.

What I will say is, I like doing things that I won’t cringe to see my kids do. I like knowing I’m setting a positive example for them, letting them know it is FINE to be exactly you in exactly the skin and hair you have.

I mean, I don’t like myself any less with twirly kinks than I do with bone straight tresses. But how would anyone know that? I’ve had my hair straight so long, it naturally falls the way I comb it. (Parted deep on the left side, with a slightly shorter fringe at my face.) I’m indifferent but to the uninitiated it looks like I spend hours and hours pressing my hair because I don’t want kinks and twirls.

The truth of the matter is, I’m lazy. I know what products work for my hair’s coily texture. I know how to do the twist outs that would make those coils pop. But because I spend so much time doing hair, I like mine to be minimal muss and fuss. When it is pressed, all I have to do is moisturize and wrap it. Simple. It falls in a luxurious wrap style and it doesn’t frizz too much.

But I’m teaching my kids that convenience isn’t always the best bet.

So…I bore down and braided my hair. I have tiny twists (think Senegalese) and I love it. I have various shells and coils decorating my twists.

My daughter has box braids…with the same shells and coils.

…she has hair like mine.

We’ve been looking at the history of braids together, learning about the different styles and what they symbolize. It’s more than a trend for sure, and I feel it’s important for her to know that. Wouldn’t want her calling Fulani braids, Bo Derek braids, now would we?

Tata for now. I’m sleepy, and I have to redo her hair tomorrow. She’s getting Fulani braids, and she’s chosen some beautiful beads and shells to embellish them.

♡TAK

My Personal Braid Maintenance Routine

Hey now!

It’s been a while.

I’m currently rocking a head full of magnificent micro twists and let me tell you–I’m loving every second. I’m trying to let the flat iron go and spare my hair the heat of blowouts as well, and braids and twists are my favorite hairstyle anyway!

It takes me roughly 12 hours to microtwist my hair. (My twists come 3/4 of the way down my back, and are all the same size–there isn’t a section that’s parted larger than the rest, although I do diamond parts at the crown and hairline to keep them from being too heavy.)

Once I’ve spent 12 hours on my hair, I definitely want it to last more than a week or two. I typically keep my twists up for 8 to 12 weeks.

How?!

I maintain them carefully, as carefully as I do my blowouts and silk presses.

For starters, I do a deep conditioning and protein treatment before I start my braids. As I’m creating my style, I braid gently–gotta be good to my hair because I want it to look AND be good to me. I don’t grab my edges unnecessarily, and I don’t wax or shellac them to my temples. (I like the natural look, and those Chili-from-TLC baby hairs aren’t natural for me…or a great many who force them anyway with gels and waxes.

Once the braids are in, I don’t really do anything special. I keep my scalp moisturized. I do hot oil treatments weekly.

A biggie–I stay away from oil sheen as a moisturizer…because it’s not. Oil sheen to hair is like glitter to a dollar bill. It makes it shiny and perhaps nicer to look at, but it adds no real value. The most doesn’t actually permeate your hair, and it’s simple common sense as to why. The oil sheen is mostly gases, alcohol, and fragrances. Guess what that mix does?

Yep–dry your hair out. Since I wear my braids for long stretches, I am fastidious about NOT drying my hair out, because dry hair becomes broken hair. I’m gunning for bra strap length and I’m within 4 inches of that goal, so I don’t have time for breakage.

I’m a big believer in washing my hair twice a week (more often if it is hot–no debate needed, you’re free to wash yours less if you’d like, or even more.) REGARDLESS of what style I’m rocking.

I do cowashes or oil baths but every ten days or so, I use a clarifier shampoo. My favorite at the moment is MoroccanOil clarifying shampoo. It’s kinda pricy–$26 a pop at Sephora (only available online for now)–but it gets the job done and doesn’t take half a bottle to do so. I also like good old V05 Clarifying Shampoo, which at $1 a bottle is excellent for when I have braids.

The trick to washing braids without ruining them? (I know many people who actually take their braids down when it’s time t wash, simply because they don’t know how easy it is to just wash them!)

Start off with well-done braids. Not necessarily scalp killers, just a solid install. I start by running warm water over my entire head. Then I start with the ends and work my way up. I acrually use the ends of my braids to massage my scalp. Gently of course.

I find rinsing is easiest if I don’t flip my hair upside down. (This is best done in the shower, or in somebody’s shampoo bowl. It’s a neck buster!)

Once they’re washed and rinsed, I spray them from roots to ends with rose water.

Yes, rose water.

Why?

Rose water is a magical agent. It is full of flavonoids and vitamins (A, C, D, E, and B3). It is a natural moisturizer. It also helps balance the pH of your hair, as well as correct the porosity. It’s a natural astringent, so it curbs dandruff.

Needless to say, it aids in healthy hair growth.

After the rose water dries, I then spritz from roots to ends with my favorite oil combo. Currently I am using a blend of jojoba, sweet almond oil, coconut oil, vitamin E oil, and tea tree oil. I literally just bought the oils from a health food store and put them into and spray bottle. I like to run warm water over the botle before spraying my hair.

Note: I stick to food grade, organic oils. When I look and the ingredient list for say, my olive oil? All I expect to see is cold pressed olives. No extras, no additives.

…and then I tie my silk scarf and let everything set.

It’s time consuming but not nearly as bad as

A) Having to undon12 hours of work just to wash my hair

B) Taking out my braids and finding damaged, unhealthy hair underneath

C) Pulling clumps of my own hair out as I undo my braids because it wasn’t kept up properly.

Night-night for now.

♡TAK

Equal or Bust. #MomLife

No cutesy greeting tonight. I hope you’re well, though.

I’ve been largely absent from this old blog. To be honest and completely transparent, reviewing beauty items or giving life wisdom to others wasn’t a high priority when I was catching twelve kinds of hell myself. I like to be in the right mindframe to do the promo thing, because I lack a poker face and cute photo ops don’t happen unless I feel them. Resting witch face doesn’t really inspire the masses.

Anyhoo…

I have to derail my usual posts tonight to kinda share something weighing on me really badly. I’m talking about weight that crushes. I lose sleep about it. My appetite disappears. I’ve chewed the inside of my lip to shreds since December about it.

Mothering is my thing. I take more pride in that than anything. I might blush if complimented on my looks, and I’m deliberately modest about my work (I let the plaques, certificates, and peer reviews do the talking in that regard)—but that mothering? Mothering is something I will look any human in the eye and say with full certainty, “I’m great.”

I haven’t spent much time giving my kids the material stuff I didn’t have. I had pretty much everything I wanted. (I didn’t get a sportscar for graduation, but then again I’ve only ever walked as much as I wanted to.) I didn’t have a hard upbringing. Lillie made sure I had it good.

…except it should have been my own parents doing that. Lillie, is grandma.

Before I get any further, let’s be clear: If I could have chosen any person in this world to be my guardian, she would be IT, hands down. When I imagine anything I could have done different in life, it is NEVER that I would want to grow up anywhere but with her. I gave and STILL GIVE her full credit for steering me toward every single thing I ever did right and all the things I will go on to do before my time is up.

Back to the brass tacks.

I was only a naïve little 22-year-old kid when I became The Mother. While 22 is not as young as say, 16, it was still young enough. I had never had to make any major decisions for myself, let alone been responsible for a whole other person. I always say that my 11-year-old and I have grown up together, and that’s no exaggeration. I’m not sure I’ve ever been young-minded (I was born 35 years old, *sighs*) I still look at her in amazement because she survived.

I had no idea what I wanted for her, but I knew what she wasn’t going to get—shortchanged.

See, Lillie was one in a million. I don’t even consider that statement hyperbole. I couldn’t have loved and admired her any more if she were really my actual mom. It wasn’t because she spoiled me, or because she made sure I knew my head from my tail. Even as much as I adored her before, I saw her in a different light after I became The Mother myself. I started to understand her more.

She wasn’t nagging me about schoolwork; she wanted to make sure I didn’t abuse the free portion of my education. She wasn’t being mean by giving us 80 hours of housework a week (and being a stickler for perfection with said housework)—she was ensuring I wouldn’t be one of those females who can’t manage their home.

She wasn’t one of those huggy-PDA types. (I can be, but it depends—I’m selectively affectionate.) She didn’t do all the hugging and sugaring.

What she did do was make sure she spoke life over us. Every day. Even when she was disappointed or displeased, or just plain mad. She didn’t go to bed without settling whatever I might be pouting about.

I never got used to her disdain, because she wasn’t generous with it.

She didn’t overly-coddle me. Let’s be clear. I’m almost 34 years old and I will still cry if I think about stirring up her ire. It’s not even that she was a hard-ass, because she was absolutely not. I just couldn’t stand (and still can’t) knowing I messed up. She was my biggest, at times only real, supporter. It’s not a good feeling to let that type of person down.

Something I try to carry forth with my own kids is this: The things I say and do while they are under my care, are their inner voice. My actions and words shape their outlook about the rest of the world.

That’s a tall order, because I didn’t necessarily receive the correct voice from people who should have been even more “about me” than my Lillie. What I got from them was too tired, too busy, too occupied with everything else. I wasn’t a priority for them, and it was clear as early as I can remember. I could see them being the kinda influence to other people’s kids, and their subsequent kids, that they should have been for me, and it bugged me to no end. There wasn’t anything I could do to get my due, and nothing short of a changed heart would compel them. Didn’t stop me from trying, though. Futility—America’s favorite exercise.

Fast forward to now. I chuckle to myself when people point out my achievements. (Because certificates, degrees, and plaques make the world go round, eh?) Not because I’m conceited—it’s just I could probably move the moon with my mind tomorrow and I’d still be ignored (until I was of some use) by the very people I would move the moon with my mind today just to feel close to. I would still not be the favored, the cherished, or the treasured. Outside my nuclear, I only held those titles with my Lillie.

So while I’m as chuffed about those accolades as any sane person would be, they still don’t mean much. In this case, they mean nothing.

Why? They didn’t garner me the result I wanted. I don’t care if you’re 3 or 33, every person wants the approval of their parents. It doesn’t matter if they’re the worst people on Earth. After all, even 45’s kids want that satisfaction of knowing they’ve made him proud. At the very least, they know he sees them in the world.

Ignore your kid enough that they don’t think they have that, and it will eat them alive. They will resent you, and one day it will undeniably be too late for you to fix it. Personally speaking, from personal experience, it’s a hard thing to outgrow. You’re never comfortable in any relationship, at least not fully. Small disagreements bring big fear of abandonment. It ain’t pretty.

I said all that, to say this:

Your children are little ONE TIME. They wake you from your sleep, interrupt your bathroom time, and follow you around underfoot ONE TIME. As tiring as those days are, don’t waste them being too busy or too occupied with yourself. They’re YOURS—so treat them accordingly.

More importantly, and probably the point of this entire post: treat them EQUALLY.

I drive myself small amounts of crazy on a daily basis. I like to feed my kids from the same color plates. They have the same types of drinking tumblers. They all own the same number of shirts, pants, shoes. I’m borderline compulsive with this. It’s sad really—no person obsesses over one kid having 5 tees and another having 6. But to me that single tee is a huge deal. I NEVER WANT MY KIDS TO THINK ONE MATTERS MORE TO, IS LOVED MORE BY, OR HAS MORE OF ME. I try to do everything equally, across the board, even though it is mentally and physically exhausting. Like, it literally makes me tired at the end of the day, trying to make sure I give each kid in this house the exact same amount, of everything from hugs to conversation. I don’t like to feel like I’ve slighted them. I don’t like to go to bed thinking I shortchanged them on ANYTHING.

My big kids have social media. If I comment on one’s status, I zoom over to the other’s IG and like a couple pics. Then I leave a reaction on the other’s Xbox Live activity. Even something as simple as saying individual good nights and good mornings. I have to do these things because I know firsthand how it feels to watch a parent seemingly love everybody BUT you. I know how it feels to wonder WHY they can embrace everyone but you. The craziest part is, this supercedes biology.

It’s crazy to be so fastidious about things they maybe don’t even notice. (Seriously, they don’t really seem to care if I feed them on matching plates or not.) It’s probably not even healthy that I’m so consumed with it. I just can’t and won’t risk them looking back one day and thinking, “Well dang, she didn’t care about my *insert random thing* but she sure did about my sibling’s!”

Nope. I ain’t doing it.

Unless you want to wake up one day and realize you completely missed out on an epic person, I’d suggest you don’t either. Maybe you don’t have to count undershirts or buy specific dishes so they always have the same items, but you should surely invest the time to know and love each kid for who they are.

Don’t let that be a lesson garnered in hindsight.

EQUAL OR BUST. #makeitathing

The Giveback!

Aloha!

We’re a week or so out from Thanksgiving, so I have a minute to dish on my two little families. More so, the experience my family garnered from bringing sunshine to theirs.

As you probably know by now, Lillie Beauty is rooted in service. We like to effect a bit of sunshine in our community, because that’s how we honor our Lillie.

When we celebrate Thanksgiving, we give thanks for the year’s bounty and enjoy a huge feast of holiday favorites. It’s hard to imagine that day without turkey, ham, and all the trimmings. It’s even harder to imagine that day away from those closest to you.

While my family had more than enough food, we just observed our first set of holidays within our new norm. That meant, no Lillie. Which was about as painful as anything I’ve ever dealt with; possibly more so because the heavy heartache from her death is still fresh. I promised myself I would still make the standard meal and desserts, except I’d share it with the other families in our convenience store family instead of just having it around the house for a week afterward. (Even a mid-sized meal would be more than enough to feed my own tribe, and since I shopped pretty late, I wasn’t able to find the smaller portions nor did I have much time to shop around.)

The idea to give dinner to a family came pretty easily. As I was sitting there kinda in a funk, I chided myself. It would be a tough day without her, but at least I had food, and I still had someone to share the day with even if I couldn’t spend it with my Lillie. Then I felt incredibly humbled and needed to atone for my previous ungratefulness. There was no way I needed to be complaining or pouting when I not only had the means to feed my family, but could also help feed someone else!

SO the idea was born.

I originally meant to buy dinner for one family. No canned goods either–everything fresh and real, just like I eat myself. (I find canned goods absolutely vile. I couldn’t feed these families something I myself won’t eat–I wanted to give them dinner, not prepackaged processed grossness.) When I set about the process of finding them, I knew I had to do more than one…

Our two families were local darlings, and we found them via Facebook. I don’t know anyone in Albany, so I just threw up a few social media posts and hoped for the best.

I finally got a couple bites in the days leading up to the drawing. Many were worried they needed to make a purchase. (Nope!) Others feared they needed to be faithful clients or customers. (Nope again.) Others still wondered if there was a gimmick, something they had to do in exchange for a chance at the food. (NOPE.)

I drew a name. But I felt like budget for the endeavor could support one more. So I went and gathered up the fixin’s for two good,solid holiday meals. My brother got involved too–his dance class helped sponsor the second family so they could both get a burgeoning bag of goodies. We even got them items for dessert.

No, I’m not giving you details about them. That’s not nice. What I will give you is (hopefully) the spirit to go out and do something similar. Maybe not on a holiday, maybe not as big (or possibly bigger!!), maybe just on a whim. If you can’t buy or make something, BE SOMETHING. A smile and a hello are usually more than enough.

Anyhoo…

I’m off now to finish my articles and website wok for the day. It’s Monday, so I’m not a the shop, but I still have lots to do.

Aloha!

TAK

 

PS: I’m now ONLY booking appointments via StyleSeat. Inboxes and emails are a bit too tedious to keep up with, and it’s difficult to keep my paper calendar and my electronic calendar 100% synced. You can click my initials (“TAK”) in any future blog post and it will take you to my site. Link below, also.

TAK’s StyleSeat

Ten Cold, Hard, Uncomfortable Truths: Entrepreneurship

Hey now!

My little shop has been buzzing with activity for over a month now, and I’m taking an early morning breather to share a few things I know, as well as a few things I just learned or experienced recently. While I’m new to being a total owner—I floated this venture without any outside funding—I’ve operated several businesses successfully for a few years now. This one is a whole other ballgame though, because beauty supplies and braids don’t necessarily sell themselves. I’m still figuring out my best marketing strategies and interacting with customers and clients, trying to find my ideal balance. I’m a tough-as-nails businesswoman, but I have and show a definitive soft spot for my customers and clients.

Yes, there is a slight difference. Customers buy products; clients sit in the chair. I love them the same, but there’s a different rapport.

A customer only needs to like my inventory and what I call counter demeanor—the smile and tone of voice I maintain while attending to their transaction from behind that counter.

A client must on some level like me, because they are entrusting me to touch their hair. Hair is a multibillion dollar industry and not a sentient soul alive will sit in the chair of a stylist they don’t like and trust.

The ten things I tell every entrepreneur range from common sense stuff to credit building to simple ways to create a welcoming atmosphere, even if they’re only working online. (I operate an online boutique myself, specializing in custom children’s attire, rebranded as Bell’s Customs but formerly Ruffles & Bows: Tutu Cute, and we’ve done a fairly brisk business since 2012.)

Without further ado—I have not had my coffee just yet, and I require that jolt to really begin my day—here is a little gem. Specifically, ten gems. Enjoy, share, but most importantly ingest.

1. Every step you take, counts.

   Even if it feels like it is taking forever, every single step you take toward striking out on your own counts in a big way. If you are an artist, that step might be buying a good set of paintbrushes. It doesn’t feel like much, especially if you’re laying the foundation for a mighty palace with tiny bricks. Keep going, because it is worth it. You’ll get exactly where you are going.

2. You will receive far more support after you make it, than when you are starting out.

   People like a finished product, and most are interested only in a thing or idea once it is fully fleshed out. Be prepared for people to be annoyed by you, attempt to dissuade you, or flat out ignore you when you speak of your venture. It’s normal, even though it sucks. The fact is, most people can only support someone who is doing something familiar to them. If your circle works in the industrial sect but you are starting a consulting firm, prepare to not really feel the love until you’ve gotten some clients under your belt and they can see your arc.

3. Family will probably not be your biggest cheerleaders.

   Families are always proud to talk about their successful members! At holiday dinners and gatherings, you almost always hear at least a couple stories and humble brags about relatives who are doing their respective things. However…you probably won’t hear much about the budding entrepreneurs unless they have already begun to show—and share—profit. It’s probably nothing against you and your brand. It goes back to what I said in thingo number 2—people show far more love when you make it than when you are beginning.

4. You’ll spend way more than you make the first year or so, possibly longer.

   Business is an expense all its own. You have to build your brand from the bottom up, and that’s gonna mean shelling out some cash. Depending on your needs (internet-based businesses only require a web domain and whatever materials needed for your product, whereas if you’re doing business brick-and-mortar style, you’ll need to secure a building and materials!), you might see a lot more red than black at first.

5. Entrepreneurs are never rich overnight.

   A big reason for point number 3 is, many humans associate business with money—as in, having lots of it. The moment you open those doors or log in to that site, the average human will expect you to already be turning a profit. This is usually not the case, and entrepreneurs the world over will agree: It takes persevering through some times of lean to make it to the plentiful green.

6. Your talent may not be enough.

   Perfect example: I have been braiding hair for 20 years. Over least half of my life. (I’m 33—half of that is a lot, but at the same time it’s nothing!) However, simply knowing how to braid hair was not enough to land me where I am today. I had to first sharpen my skills with hair. When I learned to braid, I did what I call straight backs—simple cornrows, going straight back. Always neat, but very simple. Then came Ms. Alicia Keys with her designs! I fell in love with those patterns, y’all. I spent so much time studying the pictures in that CD’s liner notes so I could perfect those braids on whoever would let me in their hair! Once I thought I had the game locked, microbraids and kinky twists made a huge comeback. (NO hairstyle is new or “just invented”—they are ALL reincarnations or comebacks and I don’t care who tells you different! #studyTheHistory)

7. People will undermine you.

   It goes without saying that some humans don’t want to see other humans doing well or even attempting to. Unfortunately it also goes without saying that, as you blaze your path in entrepreneurship, you will encounter many who want to hold you back. These are, even more unfortunately, gonna be friends and family first. They will be the friends who come and sit with you but never make a purchase or promote your social media. They will be the friends who tell you all about the sale they just caught via your competitors. They will be the humans with all the suggestions who never darken your doorway for services or products. You will only hear from them if it is free. When it is time to spend money, they go elsewhere.

   None of this will have anything to do with you personally. They either don’t want to gas you up only to see you fail, or they don’t want you to make it because they feel like they haven’t made it themselves.

8. You will discover strengths you never knew you had.

   You’ll realize soon enough if this is for you or if it isn’t. If it is—you will be amazed at your own growth. It takes a lot of inner strength to start any new venture. Business owners lose more sleep, money, and friends the first couple years than at any other point in life. However, they also gain the strength to press on without all the things and people they once were so sure they needed.

   This isn’t to say, go pissing off everyone you know. No. It’s just reassurance that if this path means anything to you, you will stay with it even when it feels like you are losing way more than you are gaining.

9. You may end up doing something completely different than when you started.

   When I began Lillie Beauty, LLC I started out as a braider, period. I set my pricing, got my hours decided, and went about the work of building clientele so I could braid hair! But then people began asking about the décor (wreaths, pens, artwork, etc.!) in the shop, or the t-shirts my daughter and I sport around the shop.

   I personally designed and made all those things myself, and people were interested in purchasing them…which spurred the idea for my Etsy shop, Bell’s Customs. While people can and do create their orders in Lillie Beauty (I have order forms at the counter), the majority of the BC line sells on Etsy. See how my direction shifted? I was running one lane, but ended up commandeering two. IF your path changes, go with the flow and keep your ideas separate but with equal attention. You will benefit greatly from not being a one-trick pony.

10. IT DOES GET EASIER!

    Running a business is tough. It’s tedious. It’s time-consuming. It’s expensive.
    But it’s also the most rewarding thing you can do. You won’t just be maintaining a paycheck—you are literally building a legacy. Your children, grandchildren, even beyond, can benefit greatly if you carefully stay the course and set things in the right motion.

A lot of times we don’t start our own ventures due to lack of support. I’m here to tell you, that’s no reason to hang up your dreams. Success is out there, you just have to chase it. It won’t just find you. It certainly won’t sneak up on you.

But…speaking of success…I have to go chase mine for the day. I have a quota and about 5 hours to make it great. Til next time!

Aloha!

TAK

Woooooooosah..?

Yo!

Yall, I’m about to fall over.

There’s nothing wrong, per se. We haven’t had any major mishaps and the opening is on schedule to happen exactly when I planned for it to.

It’s just…

I’m drained!

I knew there would be a lot of work involved. I knew there would be long hours. I’m new to having my own business in my own building, but I’ve been self-employed for years. A braider cannot telecommute though, so it’s not too far-fetched that I underestimated just how much elbow grease I would be putting in this.

I have enjoyed the process. I’m super thankful to have the opportunity and the resources to do this. Let me say that first… To be able to enter into this type of venture with no loans is a huge blessing. (Lillie taught me to save-save-save, and save some more.) To be able to go in and do most of the physical labor–washing, sanding, painting, and trimming? I’m batting two thousand.

…but because I’m batting two thousand, I’m really drained.

The biggest issue, aside from not having my advisor, is the burden of proof. I’m not so conceited that I think the world is watching my every move, but I’m not so jaded as to think I can get through this entire process under the radar. Part of why I decided to chronicle the process is so I could include you all (I’m in Albany, and it feels like most of my biggest supporters are in Narnia or something?!), but also so I could dispel some common misconceptions.

My short list for today… *sighs*

1. I work for me.

This means, I don’t have anyone to call when things go bad. I’m the person who’s called when things go bad!

2. When I say work, I mean work.

This entire venture started with a years-old idea, that now dwells in a years-old building. The process of sprucing up both the idea and the building? Brutal. I am not really one for manual labor, but I’m definitely getting in the mud for this. Days that used to begin at 4 am and end at 5 or 6 pm, now stretch from that same 4 am to 12, 1, 2 the next am. It’s necessary. Those long hours are crucial to effect the atmosphere I envision–peaceful, pretty, and comfortable.

3. The tasks are endless, but the budget is not.

As soon as people realize you are an eentrepreneur, they expect unlimited funds to magically appear at your disposal. (Uhmmm…where you at, funds?!) The truth? Nah. Between renovations, licenses, and permits, plus inspections, decorations, and making sure everything is just right–you’ll spend a pretty penny.

4. Socializing takes a backseat.

Yeah…no parties or kickbacks just yet. I prefer to spend my free time, sleeping. Since I don’t have much free time after the family stuff and the work stuff, I’m often left marking my RSVP, “my regrets.” I don’t regret it tho. I like sleep. A lot.

5. Sometimes, some things don’t work.

The 3rd outlet in the shampoo area, for example. It didn’t work, and it took 4 electricians to realize the light switch affects it. Go figure.

I’d be lying if I didn’t own the not-sunny side of this thing, but I would speak on without also expressing my gratitude.

Until next time…

❤TAK

BRÖÖ Craft Beer Shampoo, Ep. 1: “Feel the Buzz”…Did I???

Aloha!
Lillie Beauty, LLC is thriving, y’all. I am finally able to sit down and bring you a little news, and the news I plan to bring you is about my latest favorite product.
As a beauty supplier, the most interesting part of my work is curating the selection of products available at Lillie Beauty, LLC. When I decided to make the foray into actual sales, I knew I wanted to bring more than just the standard oils and gels, spritzes and sprays. I also wanted to put a focus on finding “clean” products—natural, cruelty-free products that I could feel good about providing to my shop clients and store customers. I am a braider, and I eschew chemical treatments—I like working with natural hair, and natural products.
When I came across BRÖÖ Craft Beer Hair, I was immediately intrigued. What started out as a distribution request (I will carry the entire line of shampoos, conditioners, and body washes in Lillie Beauty, LLC) blossomed into a demo opp!

Note: While the products mentioned in this review are sponsored in exchange for honest experience, the opinions provided are mine and mine alone.
The first thing that drew me to BRÖÖ Craft Beer Hair Care is the fact that the first ingredient in the label is craft beer—hops flowers and barley. As you may or may not already know, the first ingredient listed in a product is the ingredient that product is mostly comprised of, the thing you are getting the most of when you purchase that product. In most shampoos, that first ingredient is water. (Insert angry face—I generally spend a pretty penny on my hair care products, so I am often dismayed to know I’m basically buying souped-up water.)
Not BRÖÖ!

The very first ingredient is beer. Not water. Not agua. Not dihydrogen monoxide.
Why would I be so jazzed about washing my hair with a brewski?
Well…beer (the hops and barley) is rich in protein. Protein is essential for strong, shiny hair. BRÖÖ goes a step further with the “Feel the Buzz” formula to include peppermint, which energizes and tingles. Caffeine, as you’ll recall from my coffee rinse discussion, inhibits the hormone that causes shedding. Healthy, strong hair, that isn’t shedding?! SIGN. ME. UP.
As I was talking to Brad (the creator of BRÖÖ), I became even more intrigued. I’ve washed my hair with many food items, and I’ve had a beer rinse a time or four too. But prior to BRÖÖ, I had moseyed right past the beer shampoos in Target without a second glance. I figured they would just be regular shampoo with beer fragrance.
…let’s get into the actual experience. The “Feel the Buzz” shampoo and conditioner have been my staple this week. I’m under the weather and that peppermint formula is so refreshing. Now…it must be confessed, I hate washing my hair. It’s a chore. My hair is thick and unruly, and washing/conditioning/oiling/drying/oiling/styling take much longer than I usually care to spend. Alas, it is a chore I cannot skip, so I generally devote two days a week to it. (Yes, I wash my mane twice a week.)
The first thing I noticed about the BRÖÖ Craft Beer shampoo is the absence of that beer smell. I expected it to smell like a brewery. After all, the beer is the first ingredient. The shampoo smelled very clean. Not quite floral, not fruity at all…and. That. Mint!!! The steam from the shower was already working its magic on my poor sinuses, but that mint in the shampoo had me breathing clearly for the first time in days! This shampoo lathers like a dream. I used a quarter-sized amount and still had a head full of suds. It’s rich, and it feels really luxe. The peppermint tingles (not burns but legit tingles–let’s clear that up now, because some shampoos say “tingle” and “burns like hot goat water” would be more accurate!) and when I tell you my scalp felt like a breath of fresh air!!!

Despite the rich lather, the shampoo rinses clean easily. I passed the showerhead over my hair twice and I was suds-free. My hair felt clean and sooooo very soft. This is worth pointing out because my hair is generally very puffy and in the absence of moisturizers, feels like cotton. I decided on a dime to give the conditioner a go. I used a little more than a quarter-sized amount and raked it through my hair. Again, the mint alone makes this stuff totally valid. I was curious to see what my hair would look like after, though. I wanted to get the full benefit of this stuff.

Crash course on the mixology involved, for the uninitiated: This shampoo formula invigorates the senses. The peppermint takes care of that aspect, but the other ingredients pull weight also. The malted barley has B vitamins, minerals, and proteins to nourish your hair from the inside out. These hair super-foods also protect and repair the hair, which is very important to me, because braids are a protective style. To benefit from a protective style, you first have to start with hair in its optimal shape! The other ingredient is hops flowers, from which the essential oils fortify and soothe your scalp. All in all, “Feel the Buzz” is really solid.

After my wash and conditioning, I let my hair air dry. This would usually be a no-no, because I planned on having my hair flat-ironed and if it air dries, it swells to twice its normal height. But I noticed immediately as it fully dried that this wasn’t the case this time. It was still poofy (I love my poofiness–it’s the main reason that, while I do wear it straightened often, I refuse to actually relax my hair!), but not so much that I’d need to pull out my spray bottle and huge comb to detangle it. It was still VERY soft, and my scalp felt really good. Kind of like when I go to the spa and they massage it, except I didn’t pay $75/hour and I can recreate this same luxury every time I wash my hair now. The shampoo’s mint scent isn’t overpowering, and the shampoo and conditioner leave a clean, pleasant scent behind.

I decided to have messy bun day, which meant no additional product, and I got compliments all day on how nice my hair smelled. (Totally a thing that happens to me in my salon–people will absolutely tell you if your hair smells nice…especially when your hair smells nice.)

Sooo let’s recap: The scent is amazing. The peppermint will wake your life right on up. BRÖÖ isn’t a one-trick pony though–not only does it feel great and smell great, it leaves your hair and scalp feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. I was able to skip the spray bottle when detangling my hair, because the conditioner leaves it feeling soooo nice and soft. I’m a big fan of anything that can soften my hair, because if I begin that process with softer hair, I get better straightening with less heat. (I max out at two passes with the irons set at 250 degrees anyway, which generally means I have to then wrap my hair for it to fall right.)

My rating, as a regular everyday person with hair? YES.

My rating as a professional hairstylist? YES.

I’m not one to dispense recommendations all willy-nilly, but BRÖÖ impresses me to that point. At first, I thought it was a little crazy to get beer shampoo when I could just rinse my hair in a brewski–but after spending a week with this stuff, I get it. I could rinse my hair in a brewski true enough. But that brewski would not contain the same mixology of hair-healthy ingredients that BRÖÖ does. Also, I wouldn’t have the pleasant scent afterward. (Let’s face it, even the biggest beer aficionado probably doesn’t want to smell like a brewery.)

Horrible photo of me, great photo of my hair:

Tomorrow, I’ll share the second leg of my BRÖÖ journey…

Aloha!

❤TAK

First!!!

Oh em gee…

Not even sure where to begin, because there is so much to share! So, I’ll start at the beginning.

As you are all fully aware, Lillie Beauty is Albany, Georgia’s newest gem. I’m not the only braid shop, and I’m not the only customs shop–but per a little research, I am now a thread in the city’s historic tapestry.

How?

Well…after quite a bit of grappling regarding what we should do with the shelving in our storefront, we decided we’d try our hand at being beauty suppliers.

Who typically owns beauty supply stores?

Asians.

What am I?

Not Asian.

I knew the competition would probably be right nasty–they are already established, with bigger shops and contracts with major distributors. They have everything, in seemingly endless supply.

…and they have my clients!

Yes. Mine. The same clients who loyally and faithfully warm my chairs, are driving across town or even to the next town to buy their extensions.

Quick but relevant digression. If you know me, you know I haaaaaaaate long errands or scattered destinations. I like to group my honey-dos into clusters of productivity–meaning I deliberately and meticulously plan my outings for time efficiency and mileage. I’m busy always and traffic is as well. So…

…it made sense to offer some basic necessities in house to give a little extra convenience to my clients. They do travel a bit off the beaten path to get their petals primped, after all. Why not bring them the stuff they need?

Of course the end game was to increase my bottom line too, but I knew this would be a good move for Lillie Beauty, a way to set us apart. I don’t like gimmicks or flashy sales pitches–my work, as well as the shop’s energy, always speaks for itself.

Anyhoo! The big share.

WE ARE THE FIRST (and currently ONLY) BLACK-OWNED BEAUTY SUPPLY IN ALBANY, GEORGIA–AND SOUTHWEST GEORGIA PERIOD.

I would have a big row of emojis here but one, I don’t want those darn boxes showing up for anyone who can’t see the stickers. Two, just no.

The whole shebang has me so nervous! I like being first and I like, no love, this special achievement.

I don’t like spotlights though. I like to stay behind the scenes, making Bell’s Customs items and braiding hair. I like to go about my days with as little fanfare as possible. Two reasons:

1. I’m reserved as heck.

2. I don’t want the kind of “friends” who very often accompany being well-known–leeches, climbers, and the amen corner.

I’ve managed pretty well without all the extra, and I’m able to stay focused. While I do this to fill my days and line accounts, I really didn’t start this just to have an easy job. Nor to be rich. (Would be novel though, I’m just saying!) I needed something to expend the free energy I have, because even with a whole life going on, I still needed an outlet for me.

Since fame or being a big or known name didn’t factor, I didn’t consider what could happen. I certainly never thought about being a first.

I’ve already decided what I’ll use the potential draw for: my 501(c)(3)! I want to provide scholarships and mentoring for kids who need a Lillie. I’m not her, but I have the same kind of heart. I know how it feels to need just one person who believes in you, and I know the difference that having that one person can make.

I have a golden opportunity to be that person!

I won’t waste it.

And if being completely honest here (and I am), having this under my belt feels amazing. I managed this without going into debt. I have more support strangers than close ones who bleed my ears but ignore anything I have on. Doors are opening for me, and in turn I’m beginning to break walls now so my kids won’t have to beat them down later.

It isn’t an “I” thing though. It’s decidedly “we,” because I truly feel like this is the bridge between grief and acceptance. Because I’m worn out six days a week from making a promise into a reality, I have less time to wallow in my bad days. I am able to heal that gaping hole by filling it with charity, compassion, and community involvement.

Albany has become my healing place. I thought it’d be Dega, but it’s it’s too hard navigating the ranks.

This works for me. This couldn’t happen anywhere else.

My Lillie and I are first!

❤TAK

Don’t Sacrifice Your Life for Your Living

Yo!

Before you get aggravated, I don’t mean give up your goal for just any old connection. Don’t blow off your job to hang out with your buddies, please.

No.

What I mean is, sometimes we chase a goal so hard that we get tunnel vision. All we visualize is that finish line, whether it’s more money, a bigger house, a better job.

Not a thing wrong with any of that. In fact, those are all the main goals for any adult, in my humble opinion. Who wants to wake up and live the same exact day for 70+ years and call it a life?!

No one. At least, not anyone I know.

So we get our butts in gear and we work, work, work toward making the necessary changes. We need more money to fix the credit, so we can use the credit to spend less money on the house, where we will park the nice cars and store the cute kids. It seems easy enough. Just work, work, work, and everything will fall into place.

Except it won’t.

Unless a man is truly an island–no family no friends, no emotional connections to any other humans–that man cannot simply toss his family and friends to the wayside for oh, 50 to 60 years, then pick up as if no time passed.

Children will have grown up. Bonds will have been fractured. Friendships will have suffered.

I used to wonder how my grandma magically had time for her work, her family, her church, and her friends, plus time for herself. How in the world can a person take a limited number of hours in every week and allocate a time spot for each and every priority, but still manage to come out balanced? I never felt jilted by the time she spent on the work or social aspects of her life versus the time she spent with me, and I kinda assumed I’d just inherit that same balance by default. I too would be able to manage everything just by genetic lottery.

Ehhhh NOPE.

I didn’t plan my ascent into adulthood very well. *chuckle* I planned it backwards first–I wanted time for work (because hello, money!) and time for friends. All else could wait for an off day. I planned only for work and every other pat of the plan was…well, not planned. I just kinda went, and a lot of missed opportunities to get to know distant and not-so-distant relatives went as well.

The second part of adulthood, those first years as a mommy, came and I was sure I had a grip on this thing. There would be time for money, and time for my little one, and everything else could wait. Unfortunately I neglected to take time for me or any of my interests, so that “everything else” kinda became a pile of resentment. I wasn’t exactly flush with time or finances, and because my whole mindset was to increase my net worth, I was horribly unbalanced otherwise. I didn’t have a social life and, while it would probably have been a godsend to just hang out with someone older than the toddler, I didn’t take that “luxury.”

…which was a not-wise move. If I was shy before, that certainly didn’t help!

Fast forward a few years, and a few lessons. I’ve messed up every romantic relationship except my current (and greatest, and most blessed) one because I never made time for them to work. I was all about being mommy and super woman, so being a present, invested mate wasn’t a goal. I would cook for them, and make an effort to look nice for our outings, but because my heart and focus were always somewhere else, nothing ever came of those unions. (To my advantage, this also means I never endured a tough breakup–I was never invested enough to feel much pain.)

So how is it that now, with four kids (two biological, two bio-LAW-gical, ALL blessings), a marriage, and not only my business but his (we collaborate often, but my work is mine and his work is his–different fields but glorious results when we can combine our talent and even when we cannot!), I feel like I may have my balance?! How do I have time for anything but soccer practice and work???

I got tired of missing my own life.

For a little while it felt like I was just working to fund the background. We have a beautiful house, nice cars, and cute kids. The kids are involved in their hobbies and we parents actually have our own interests, sometimes with time to pursue them.

It’s not magic.

I needed balance, and balance isn’t sold in Wal-Mart, Target, or any of the other places I frequent. It isn’t available online. It isn’t given at church houses or school rooms.

It finds you, when you find your best self.

Get busy looking.

♡TAK